Today was a rough day. I cleaned out Cash's clothes to give to the Grandma's to make a quilt. I FINALLY have our bedroom cleaned up from Disney World, and my living room is pretty presentable. I think tomorrow I will try to finish the rest of the house. I find myself holding on to some trivial things of Cash's. Silly things I even think our silly but, still, I am clinging right now. Jason has a doctor's appointment tomorrow, just a regular check up then we are going to go to order Cash's marker. I'm still trying to finish up the Thank You's, we had to ask the funeral home to set out more thank you's for us. I am writing about 25 a night and with just flowers and plants alone, we have over 100 thank-you's to send. I will get the memorial list tomorrow and start those thank you's.
Haylie had a little hiccup in her day. At lunch she told her teacher that her stomach hurt so I went to school to pick her up and it finally came out that her tummy hurt real bad and she thought she had cancer. So we had a long talk about that and by the time we made it home, she was on to another subject and has been fine the rest of the day.
I received a phone call from an insurance person about Cash's life insurance. I guess since we have had the policy less than two years, there are a whole list of questions and forms the physicians have to fill out. No big deal, we are not depending on this for anything, and I understand their reasoning for it, but it was still a little painful to have to explain his whole story from beginning to end. Oh well, just part of the day.
Jason and I are both just exhausted today. I usually have a memory that is awesome, but the last two days I can't remember anything at all. I have locked myself out of the house twice, because I keep forgetting to put my house keys back on my keyring. I forget what I went into a room for. I will ask someone the same question a couple of times and not remember I asked. I am really hoping this passes quickly. I have always been able to count on my memory for everything so this is really frustrating me.
I can't believe it has been a week already since Cash has gone home. Sometimes it seems like it has been forever and sometimes it seems like it was just yesterday. Today was not one of our best days, but there is peace in knowing that this is just part of our physical world. I know Cash is in better hands in Heaven than he ever was here, even with me. (the control freak in me didn't like typing that) This is just my momma heart hurting, I need my spiritual heart to take over. I am going to stay busy this week and have my house back in order before I go back to work next week. Busy is always better for me.
Keep praying - Stacie