OK, so I was in church today and listening to Pastor speak on prayer. He was talking about how to pray. How often do we ask for things when we pray. Why do we do that? Doesn't the Bible say that God will provide? So why do we feel the need to tell God what we want Him to give us? How often do we not repent of our sins? How often do we pray the same things over and over again. If we truly repent, aren't we supposed to make a conscious effort not to keep doing those same things over and over and over again. Being a Christian is not easy. It's not supposed to be. The more you live a life that is right the more the devil works on you. Why wouldn't he? He already has the non-believers, there is no challenge there. I do feel challenged in my Christian walk. I could block things out when Cash was sick, well, most things. But it seems to me now, that I am challenged more and more each day, especially when my walk gets stronger. I was raised by parents that taught me to stand strong in my beliefs. I do. I will not compromise my beliefs or values to suit someone else's needs. I have said this before and I will say it again. I have to only answer to one person at the end of this life. I have enough to answer for, trust me. I don't divulge everything I know to everyone, that's not who I am. I have about 3 or 4 women that are my most trusted friends. They are probably who know me best, besides my mom. But I will not compromise my values to tell someone what they want to hear. That is the exact same thing as a lie. I also have no tolerance for those that find pleasure in gossip. I have cleaned off some of my FB list for this very reason. We heard so many stories about what was going on with us while Cash was sick, and most of these people were my "friends" on FB. I don't have time for that in my life. It's negative talk and I don't like it. And really, how small is your life if the only way you can feel good is if you know information about someone and then tell everyone else? I feel sad that this is what brings someone pleasure. I feel sad when someone thinks they need to tell me something tragic (sickness, divorce) that has happened to someone else to see what I will say. I will not say anything. The same thing is done if people try to get information out of me. I will not say anything that I don't feel needs to be shared. My first thought is, why do they want to know? The second thought is, what are they going to do with what I tell them? If we spent as much time spreading good news, and positive conversations as we do with gossip, the world would be a much better place. All it takes is one person to start. I will start, will you?